There is melancholy in the wind and sorrow in the grass.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

i don't know what i'm doing anymore. I have lost all the motivation. I need to start being hardworking again, which is really really hard. At times, at the end of the day, i'll feel so tired of everything and i refused to lift a finger to even do anything at all. But then again, i'll feel so super duper guilty for wasting my time just like that instead of revising my work. and tomorrow i'll be having quizzes and what the hell am i doing here blogging?
lately, i also feel that i've been overly sensitive for no reason. what the hell's happening to me?? well, i don't even know what i'm feeling anymore. on the other hand, i want A to be as far away from me as possible cos of a reason. i don't S to hear that i'm close to A. at times, it feels good knowing that there will always be someone who truly cares about you. what am i to do? at times, after telling A off, i'll feel so guilty that i've hurt him so badly. why am i so confused like this? can someone tell me what to do? i wish it was that easy. but at the same time, i want S to know how i feel and how he feels about me. i wish i could just ask S or read his mind. i'm waiting for the day that i know what i truly feel for each guy. cos right now, i still feel happy whenever i see S or whenever S talked to me or just messaged me online. im soooo confused. what am i really feeling anyways??? A, i can't accept him cos of one reason. i might sound extremely superficial but i really just can't accept the fact that he's shorter than me. S is so perfect. in fact, too perfect i think. i'm so afraid that i what i feel for S is one sided thing. i hate it knowing that i might get hurt at the end of the all of these.

MMI

@ 2:21 PM